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The Importance of Emotional Intimacy

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The Importance of Emotional Intimacy

We all know communication is the key to a healthy and lasting relationship, but what about Emotional Intimacy? Emotional Intimacy is just as important, if not more so, to the success of a relationship.

The Gottman Institute, after observing thousands of their couples in their Love Lab for more than four decades, discovered that most couples were not arguing about specific topics like finance, parenting or dealing with difficult in-laws. Instead, they were fighting about a failure to connect emotionally and likely didn’t even know.

This Blog will explore the concept of Emotional Intimacy and why it’s essential for couples to nurture it in their relationships. We’ll look at how it can benefit both partners, as well as tips on how to foster this kind of connection. So, if you’re ready to learn more about Emotional Intimacy, Read On!

Definition of Emotional Intimacy

Emotional Intimacy is a close, emotional bond characterized by mutual understanding, trust, vulnerability, and communication. It is often described as the feeling of being “In Sync” with someone else.

Emotional Intimacy is important to a healthy relationship because it allows partners to feel safe and secure in connection. It allows for a greater level of communication and understanding. When Emotional Intimacy is present, partners are more likely to feel satisfied and fulfilled in their relationship.

However, Emotional Intimacy is not something that comes easily to everyone. It takes time and effort to build trust and understand each other’s needs. It is important to be open and honest with each other and to make an effort to understand the other person’s perspective.

Benefits of Emotional Intimacy in Relationships

There are many benefits of emotional intimacy in relationships. When we are emotionally intimate with our partner, we are able to share our innermost thoughts and feelings with them. This level of trust and communication can help to deepen the bond between two people. Emotional intimacy can also lead to greater physical intimacy. When we feel safe and secure with our partners, we are more likely to want to be physically close to them. This can lead to a more robust sexual connection and a more fulfilling sex life.

In addition, emotional intimacy can help us to feel more connected and supported by our partners. When we know that they are there for us emotionally, it can make us feel more secure in the relationship overall. This can lead to a greater sense of satisfaction and well-being in the relationship.

What It Takes to Develop Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy is not simply about being in love or having strong feelings for someone. It’s also about sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with that person and feeling safe and secure in doing so.

Developing emotional intimacy takes time, patience, and effort. It requires both parties to be open, honest, and vulnerable with one another. And it’s not always easy. Sometimes, you may feel uncomfortable sharing certain things with your partner. But suppose you want to develop a deep, lasting connection with someone. In that case, it’s important to push through those moments of discomfort and continue to communicate openly and honestly with one another.

How to Foster a Deeper Connection with Your Partner

In order to foster a deeper connection with your partner, it is important to first understand what emotional intimacy is. Emotional intimacy is the sharing of thoughts and feelings with another person in a way that is trusting, safe, and vulnerable.

It is about being emotionally open and honest with each other. When you are emotionally intimate with your partner, you are able to share your deepest thoughts and feelings with them. This level of trust and vulnerability can be scary, but it is also advantageous. When you are able to be emotionally intimate with your partner, you will find that your relationship will become much deeper and more meaningful.

There are many ways to foster a deeper connection with your partner. One way is to simply spend more time talking to each other. Share your hopes, dreams, fears, and anything else that is on your mind. Listen to what your partner has to say and try to understand their perspective.

Another way to foster a more profound connection is to participate in activities together that allow you to be physically close to each other such as cuddling, massages, or sex. Doing things together that make you both happy will also help create a stronger bond between you two. Finally, make sure to show your partner love and affection often through words and actions.

Signs You’re Experiencing Emotional Intimacy

There are many signs that you are experiencing emotional intimacy with your partner. You may find that you are sharing more of your inner thoughts and feelings with them than you ever have before. You may also find yourself wanting to spend more time with them, and feeling more connected to them on an emotional level.

Here are some other signs that you are experiencing emotional intimacy:

  • You feel like you can be yourself around your partner without feeling judged or misunderstood.
  • You feel safe and secure sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings with your partner.
  • You have a strong desire to please and support your partner and feel a strong connection to their wellbeing.
  • You frequently find yourself daydreaming about being with your partner or sharing special moments with them.

Signs That Your Relationship Is Lacking in Emotional Intimacy

If you’re not feeling emotionally intimate with your partner, it may be a sign that your relationship is lacking in this important area. Here are some signs to look for:

  • You don’t feel close to your partner.
  • You don’t share your feelings with your partner.
  • You don’t confide in your partner.
  • You don’t feel like your partner understands you.
  • You don’t feel supported by your partner.
  • You don’t feel like your partner cares about you.

How to Rebuild Lost Emotional Intimacy

In every relationship, emotional intimacy is important. It’s what keeps the spark alive and makes us feel close to our partner. When emotional intimacy is lost, it can be challenging to rebuild. But it’s not impossible! Here are some tips for rebuilding lost emotional intimacy:

Talk about your feelings: It’s important to communicate with your partner about how you’re feeling. This will help them understand where you’re coming from and what you need from them.

Spend time together: Make sure to schedule time for just the two of you. This can be difficult if you have a busy life, but it’s important to make an effort. Quality time together will help you feel closer to your partner.

Be affectionate: Affection doesn’t just mean sex! Physical touch can be very important in rebuilding emotional intimacy. Hold hands, give hugs, and exchange massages with your partner. Touch releases oxytocin, which helps reduce stress and promote bonding.

Be present when you’re together: When you’re spending time together, put away your phones and be present at the moment. Listen to what your partner has to say and share your thoughts and feelings with them as well. Being fully present will help create a deeper connection between you two.


Getting Help

Emotional intimacy is a fundamental part of any healthy relationship. It allows couples to communicate openly and be vulnerable with one another, creating a deeper connection between them. By nurturing emotional intimacy, couples can meet each other’s needs more effectively and feel more secure in their relationships. If you and your partner could benefit from guidance in obtaining healthy emotional intimacy, please contact our office. We have a compassionate team of highly qualified professionals to help you at our Flower Mound, Texas, and Southlake, Texas, offices.  All services are available in-person and online (telehealth). 



Picture of Dr. Michael Messina

Dr. Michael Messina

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